"nostalgia is a mind trick"

enough time has passed for me to finally be able to see the beauty in what I once wished would be over sooner. time wipes away the unsatisfactory feeling we attach to every moment, turning all of them into shiny relics on the shelves of our existence. I want to pick it up now, hold it in my hands, admire the memory of it, because all it is now is a visual residue. a snapshot of what once was real.

I couldn't possibly view it any other way back when I was in the middle of it, because there was a thousand and one other thing on my mind to be stressed about. things I can't remember now if i tried to.

so what is the point? getting all worked up about things that only last a few moments and thereby letting the beauty and the thrill of the moment slip away without a trace.

and then we spend our lives wishing we could go back and enjoy it just a tiny bit more. and even if this was an option, we wouldn't be able to do it, because human brain is unfortunately not wired to behold the beauty of the moment; it gets distracted by the stream of problems it creates to have an excuse to escape the present moment. what a dreadful, unbelievably pathetic loop.

gotta think of some ways to end it :)